LondonCalling:

“We are a vanilla couple who are just starting to explore the lifestyle. After some googling, we found ourselves at a nice Eyes Wide Shut party. It was absolutely fabulous, this club basically had everything from saunas to custom sex chairs and the lovely orgy attic.

Since we are both new to this and are pretty young, we were getting a lot of attention but we just spoke to people like we normally would at a club, albeit semi-nude (post midnight club rules).

Later on in the night, when we were in the orgy attic, there were like 30 couples going at it and it looked magnificent, but both of us were flummoxed on how to join in on the action. How do you get consent in this situation? What is a respectable space that is needed? There were no rules written on the entrance (they had some engagement rules written for other areas)

So while we still had a great time, watching and being watched; we would probably like to do more the next time we go. How do you normally go about it? What are the rules?”

Ams:

Sounds like a fun party!

When in doubt, Use Your Words: “Can we join in?” is totally acceptable, and may get a yes or a no. That’s ok.

Alternatively, we like going to larger events with another couple that we already know and are comfortable with. Then we are pretty sure that we are going to play with someone and have a good time. But everyone’s play style is different, so, if you want something, ask…politely.

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