I’ll admit that I was sound-deprived during sex for years. When we were young, music was more expensive and more fumbly, requiring CDs and a lot of pre-planning. Next came babies, and we found ourselves shushing not only each other but also our squeaky bed and our stereo. We weren’t about to be interrupted by a cry for Mama’s milk mid-coitus. After over ten years of soundless sex, it became natural.
And then we were reintroduced to the melody of making love. That’s one of the best parts of being in an open relationship — the tips and techniques that you acquire from others and work into your personal sexual repertoire. Once music made its reentry into our lovemaking, it became as essential as the right lighting, the right sheets, and the right toys. We even invested in an Amazon Alexa device to avoid the awkward pause-in-the-middle-of-thrusting to switch to the song; now we just tell “Echo” what to do from whatever position we’re in.
Music helps me get, and stay, in the mood. Turn on the right music, and my thoughts go from whose lunch still needs packing in the morning to downright dirty. Or sensual. Or romantic, or kinky, or submissive, or spiritual. Choose your music, and set the stage for the sex session ahead of you.
Here are the Spotify playlists that Jack and I find ourselves getting turned on by time and again:
Yup, this one is mine, and I think that just goes to show you…the best playlist for you is probably going to be the one that you cultivate for yourself over the years. If you’re curious what I get off to…well, here it is. I like it moody, sensual, a little dark, and with a beat that inspires me to dance for my partner.
Like the podcast? Chances are that you’ll like their music too! I initially interacted with these two awesome ladies when they sent me their playlist to include on my blog, and we hit it off from there. Our taste in music overlaps as you’ll see, with all of us enjoying modern songs with beat, rhythm, and a bit of an edge.
Spotify describes this four-hour collection of songs as “powerful voices and dark, alluring siren songs.” I find myself listening to this one when I’m pre-gaming for the night ahead, whether that be driving home from work or cleaning the kitchen, letting my mind wander to the pleasures ahead. It’s great for tapping into that darker, feminine side of myself, as well as for the special nights that I get to have sex with other women.
This one is definitely darker and kinkier. There’s lots of stuff from all of the Fifty Shades movies, plus a little more thrown in so that you don’t feel like a total sellout. We like to use this one during erotic sessions involving bondage and BDSM, as well as just straight up more passionate, rough/aggressive sex. You can also just search for Fifty Shades and pull up one of the mixes created by Spotify users that encompasses all the songs from all the movies. Each playlist is a little different, so we often bounce between them to have a little variety during our own Shades of Gray sessions.
Stay in Bed
The songs on this list are sweet, mellow tunes that might inspire “Eskimo kisses” between you and your lover under a puffy duvet on a bright Sunday morning. This chill music makes sex feel organic and a little boho. It’s not explicit; I often have this playing in the background of our home during the day, even with the kids around. It’s also good for writing. The songs are more mainstream than others on my list, and most have vocals.