“We would love to hear about your experience with tight-knit friend groups. This type of thing seems pretty common in the poly world (polycules is the term), but I perceive it as less common among swingers. Is this actually true, and if so why?
What we’re talking about is a close group of friends you hang out with regularly. Maybe you travel together. Maybe you do non-sexual things together. There’s a level of trust that maybe permits more experimentation.”
I have made closer, more meaningful friendships with other lifestyle women than I was ever able to make with my vanilla friends. We’ve gotten together as families (for vacations, barbecues, etc.) but we also do “just us girls” get togethers. I don’t think anyone in our group identifies as poly. If you had to choose, we’d probably still all identify as swingers (although I hate the labels) but it’s more of a friends-with-benefits model of swinging.
We usually introduce new couples during a vanilla get together (like a group dinner), because even if couples like each other, they may not feel that sexual connection or they may not want to play with a new couple on the first meet.
It’s not so much about keeping a stable group as it is introducing friends to friends and hoping that they feel a connection.