So, you want to explore anal play, but don’t know where to start. That’s okay! The key is to relax, lube up, start small, pay attention to how your body responds, and go slow and steady. I’ve listed some of my favorite products to use with anal play, so that you can explore as comfortably and pleasurably as possible.
When you’re exploring anal play for the first time, it’s important to be as relaxed as possible. Remember there are lots of ways to explore anal play that don’t require you to shove a dick in your butt! You can take things slow and stop any time that things start to get uncomfortable.
If you want to experiment with anal sex, start with some sexy education. Check out the 2HotWives episodes on Anal Play (Part 1 and Part 2).
Don't forget the lube!
Unlike the vagina, the butt is not self-lubricating. So make sure you have a ton of personal lubricant for any form of anal play. Whether you plan on digital penetration, butt plugs, larger toys or a penis, a pump or two of lube can make the difference between “OUCH” and “OH YEA”.
I prefer silicone lubricants over water-based lube. Uberlube is my personal favorite but AstroGlide also makes a good silicone-based product. Just don’t forget that silicone lube can damage silicone toys.
A potential alternative to personal lubricant is plain old fractionated Coconut Oil. But don’t use oils with latex condoms because they can break down the latex and increase the risk of breakage.
Remember, when in doubt, USE MORE LUBE!
start small with anal toys
It’s always a good idea to add some toys to your arsenal to ensure your first time is smooth, fun, and feels good. You might also consider first exploring anal on your own. When your solo, you control the toys and the timing. You can learn your body’s responses (without an audience!) and familiarize yourself with the sensations of anal insertion.
Smaller or graduating butt plugs can feel great during sex or they can be used to relax the sphincter muscles of the anus and make it easier to use larger toys or to have anal sex.
A small vibrating toy is also an excellent addition to anal play.
Here are some of our favorite smaller toys for Anal Play:
Ready for something a little larger?
You might find that a finger or a small toy is as far as you ever want to go with anal play. But if you are curious to explore something that will create more sensation, check out our favorite larger anal toys.
don't forget protection
Having unprotected anal sex puts you at higher risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than other sex acts. The risk of infection through anal sex is even higher for women. That’s because the skin and tissue around the anus are more fragile and can more easily result in tears, leading to unwanted bacteria and infection.
Using a condom correctly protects you and your partner. Even partners who don’t typically use condoms for vaginal sex might want to use a condom for anal sex.
Ams Elle
Ams, co-host of the 2HotWives podcast, grew up in a household obsessed with sex! As the daughter of an Ob/Gyn and one of four sisters, dinner topic conversations were filled with The Miracle of Birth, STI prevention, Take Back the Night rallies, and condom distribution. So, of course, Ams grew up thinking sex would either kill you or ruin your life.
Luckily, Ams never lost her curiosity about sex. Even during the dark days of mothering little children and starting a career as an attorney, Ams kept up her interest in sex by secretly watching high-budget 90s porn and reading dog-eared copies of erotica in the bathtub.
In her mid-thirties, Ams embraced SEX as part of her identity, and, like the overachieving know-it-all that she is, decided that she needed to become an expert in all things sexual. And the best way to become an expert? Learn it, live it, fuck it (or not), and then tell everyone how it goes…